Peace be upon you, my friend.
Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal was once asked:
"What is the way to be safe from people's harm?"
He replied: "You give to them and take nothing from them; they hurt you, and you do not hurt them; you fulfill their needs and do not burden them with fulfilling yours."
It was said to him: "That is so difficult, O Imam!"
He said: "If only you could be safe even then!"
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The worst part of it, my friend, is that we are no longer looking to gain anything from people, but merely seeking safety! That they grant you the simplest of your rights—meaning, that they leave you alone!
Yet you discover that even this is impossible. They live in your life far more than they live in their own, forgetting that the proper place for their noses is on their own faces as God created them, not in our personal lives as they desire!
By God, sometimes you want to know what makes them happy just so you can do it and save yourself, but my friend, you fail every time!
* If you go to the mosque, they call you an extremist; if you go to the café, they call you reckless and immoral!
* If you consult your wife, they call you weak and henpecked; if you don't consult her, they call you a tyrant!
* If a woman obeys her husband, they say she has a weak personality; if she doesn't, they call her mannish!
* If you sit among your books, they call you complex and antisocial; if you watch football, they call you trivial!
* If a woman works, they say she has neglected her home; if she doesn't, they say what a waste of her degrees!
Neither the drunkard pleases people, nor does the pious. And if they cannot find a fault in someone, they invent one and mock them for it!
Have you not heard what the people of Lot said? *“Expel the family of Lot from your city! Indeed, they are people who keep themselves pure.”*
When they could find no sin to accuse them of, they mocked them for their very purity!
And you are still asking how to please people?!
There is no way, my friend. No way at all!
Peace to your heart.
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