**The Rights of the Elderly in the Light of Islamic Law**
*By Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi*
### Old Age Is a Natural Stage
Old age is a natural stage of human life, following childhood, youth, and maturity. Just as everything in this world changes under various influences, and just as erosion and weathering affect the physical world, the passing of years and the events of time affect the human being: the young grow old, the strong become weak, and the healthy become ill.
As the ancient Arab poet said:
> “The passing of mornings and evenings
> has made the young grow grey and worn down the old.”
Another poet said:
> “The long nights hastened my decline;
> they wore away all of me, and then part of me.”
Reaching old age is inevitable, according to the Divine order, if a person is spared death during childhood, youth, and maturity. The Qur’an points to this:
> **“It is He who created you from dust, then from a sperm-drop, then from a clinging clot; then He brings you forth as a child, then allows you to reach maturity, then makes you elders. And among you are those who are taken in death before that, and so that you may reach a specified term, and perhaps you will understand.”**
> *(Qur’an 40:67)*
Thus, the verse refers to the embryonic stages—the sperm-drop and the clinging clot—then childhood, then maturity, which encompasses youth and middle age, and finally old age.
### Being Reduced to the Frailty of Extreme Old Age
The Qur’an refers in two other verses to an advanced stage of old age described as **“the feeblest stage of life”**:
> **“And Allah created you, then causes you to die. And among you are those who are brought back to the feeblest stage of life, so that after having known something, they know nothing. Surely Allah is All-Knowing, All-Powerful.”**
> *(Qur’an 16:70)*
Likewise, in Surat al-Hajj:
> **“And among you are those who die, and among you are those who are returned to the feeblest stage of life, so that they know nothing after having known.”**
> *(Qur’an 22:5)*
The “feeblest stage of life” is its most vulnerable condition. It is when a person suffers weakness in the bones and general bodily decline, particularly in hearing and sight, as well as deterioration of memory and mental faculties, until he returns to a state resembling childhood and becomes dependent upon others. His legs may no longer be strong enough to carry him.
One poet expressed this condition humorously:
> “I once walked upright on two strong legs;
> now I walk upon another pair—the branches of trees!”
Ibn Abbas explained “the feeblest stage of life” as meaning the lowest stage of life, when a person becomes like a child who lacks understanding.
This is why the Prophet ﷺ sought refuge in Allah from being returned to such a condition. Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet ﷺ used to seek refuge in these words:
> **“O Allah, I seek refuge in You from cowardice, I seek refuge in You from miserliness, and I seek refuge in You from being returned to the feeblest stage of life. I seek refuge in You from the trials of this world and from the punishment of the grave.”**
Al-Bukhari also narrated from Aisha and Anas that the Prophet ﷺ used to seek refuge in Allah from **“senility”**, meaning old age in general. This is understood as referring particularly to extreme and debilitating old age.
But what exactly is the “feeblest stage of life”? And at what age does it begin?
In their poetry, the Arabs often referred to the age of eighty. Zuhayr ibn Abi Sulma said in his famous Mu'allaqah:
> “I have grown weary of the burdens of life;
> whoever lives to eighty years, you will surely find him weary.”
Another poet, complaining of his failing hearing, said:
> “Eighty—and may I live to reach it—
> has made my hearing in need of an interpreter.”
In reality, the feeblest stage of life varies from person to person according to physical constitution, upbringing, food and drink, type of work, lifestyle, and physical exercise.
Whatever the case, excessive longevity can become a “problem” for the individual, the family, and society as a whole. This is something Europeans and Americans have increasingly experienced with the growing number of elderly men and women, owing to greater health awareness, medical advances, improved care, and people's desire for longer lives. Some even search for medicines to combat ageing, unaware that, were they to succeed completely, such a development could create difficulties for younger and emerging generations.
It is therefore important for a person to pray to his Lord not to return him to the feeblest stage of life, so that he does not become dependent upon others or a heavy burden whom they might wish to see die simply to be relieved of the responsibility.
### Old Age Is a Stage of Weakness, Like Childhood
Old age is a stage of human weakness, just as childhood is. The Qur’an says:
> **“Allah is the One who created you from weakness, then gave you strength after weakness, then after strength brought weakness and grey hair.”**
> *(Qur’an 30:54)*
The Prophet Zachariah expressed this weakness when he prayed:
> **“My Lord, indeed my bones have weakened, and my head has filled with grey hair, yet never, my Lord, have I been disappointed in my prayer to You.”**
> *(Qur’an 19:4)*
The Qur’an mentions old age on several occasions, particularly in connection with the noble messengers of Allah. Abraham, for example, said:
> **“Praise be to Allah, who has granted me Ishmael and Isaac in my old age. Indeed, my Lord is the Hearer of prayer.”**
> *(Qur’an 14:39)*
The Qur’an also tells of the glad tidings of Isaac's birth when the angels announced it to Abraham's wife:
> **“She said, ‘Alas! Shall I bear a child while I am an old woman, and this, my husband, is an old man? Indeed, this is a remarkable thing!’ They said, ‘Do you wonder at the command of Allah? The mercy of Allah and His blessings be upon you, people of the household. Indeed, He is Praiseworthy, Glorious.’”**
> *(Qur’an 11:72–73)*
### Islam’s Care for the Elderly
Anyone who examines the teachings and rulings of Islam will find that Islam has taken old age into consideration both materially and spiritually.
### Material Provision
Materially, an elderly person must be provided with whatever he needs, to the extent of full sufficiency: food, drink, clothing, housing, and medical care. If he needs someone to serve and care for him, this too must be provided, either through marriage if he is capable of it and desires it, or through paid assistance.
If an elderly parent has no sufficient source of income, such provision becomes the responsibility of his children. This is among the rights of parents over their children and part of the kindness and dutifulness commanded by Allah and His Messenger ﷺ.
For this reason, Muslim jurists unanimously held that a needy father cannot receive zakat from his son, because supporting him is already an obligation upon the son, just as supporting his wife and children is.
The Qur’an tells the story of the elderly father in Midian whose daughters tended the family's affairs when Moses arrived at the well:
> **“And he found, apart from them, two women holding back their flocks. He said, ‘What is your situation?’ They said, ‘We cannot water our flocks until the shepherds drive theirs away, and our father is a very old man.’”**
> *(Qur’an 28:23)*
This indicates that an elderly person's children—even daughters—may need to work and strive to provide for him and meet his needs. This is among the legitimate reasons for women to work: the needs of the family.
The Sunnah also permitted a father to take from his son's wealth what he needed. In a hadith narrated by Ibn Hibban from Aisha, a man came to the Prophet ﷺ complaining about his father concerning a debt. The Prophet ﷺ said:
> **“You and your wealth belong to your father.”**
Abu Dawud narrated from Abdullah ibn Amr that a man said to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:
> “I have wealth and a father, and my father consumes my wealth.”
The Prophet ﷺ replied:
> **“You and your wealth belong to your father.”**
Al-Khattabi explained that this does not mean that a father has unrestricted ownership of his son's property. Rather, if the father is in need, he may take from his son's wealth according to his legitimate needs.
Abu Hatim ibn Hibban likewise explained the statement as an instruction to the son not to treat his father as he would an unrelated person, but rather to honour him and deal with him gently in word and deed.
### Society’s Responsibility for Material Care
If the son, or any other relative responsible for him, is unable to provide for the elderly person, then the responsibility extends to the surrounding community. The people of a neighbourhood, village, or locality are mutually responsible: their strong support their weak and their wealthy assist their poor.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
> **“He is not a believer whose stomach is filled while his neighbour beside him is hungry.”**
If the community itself lacks sufficient means, then the state must provide the elderly and other needy people with enough to live with dignity and without having to beg.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
> **“Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.”**
He also said:
> **“I am closer to every believer than his own self. Whoever leaves wealth, it belongs to his heirs; and whoever leaves behind a debt or dependants, then their care is upon me.”**
This principle applies not only to Muslims but also to non-Muslims living under the protection of an Islamic society.
Abu Yusuf, in his book *Al-Kharaj*, recorded a document attributed to Khalid ibn al-Walid concerning the Christians of al-Hirah in Iraq. It stated that any elderly person who became too weak to work, suffered an affliction, or became poor after having been wealthy would have his jizyah waived and would be supported, together with his dependants, from the Muslim treasury.
During the caliphate of Umar ibn al-Khattab, he saw an elderly Jewish man begging. Umar objected to his condition and said:
> **“We have not treated you fairly if we took the jizyah from you when you were young and then neglected you when you became old.”**
He then ordered that the man and others like him be provided for from the public treasury.
The same principle was followed by Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz, who wrote to his governor in Basra instructing him to examine the elderly among the protected non-Muslim population who had grown old, become weak, and lost their ability to earn, and to provide them with sufficient support from the Muslim treasury.
### Honouring the Elderly
Among the Islamic values emphasized by the Sunnah is honouring and respecting the elderly, recognizing their dignity and rights, just as Islam teaches mercy toward the young.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
> **“He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and recognize the honour of our elders.”**
Another narration says:
> **“He is not one of us who does not honour our elders, show mercy to our young, and recognize the rights of our scholars.”**
The most immediate meaning of “elder” is the elderly person, although the term may also include someone of high rank or status.
Age gives a person a certain dignity because of the experience acquired through the years. Arabs, Kurds, Turks, and many other peoples have traditionally respected their elders, in accordance with human nature, and Islamic teachings reinforced this value.
Among the forms of honouring the elderly are making room for them, giving them one's place, allowing them priority in a queue or position, and taking their physical weakness into consideration.
This is especially true when the elderly person is righteous and of good character. The Prophet ﷺ said:
> **“The best of people is the one whose life is long and whose deeds are good.”**
He was also asked about the worst of people, and he said:
> **“The one whose life is long and whose deeds are evil.”**
Abu Dawud narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said:
> **“Indeed, part of venerating Allah is honouring the elderly Muslim, the bearer of the Qur’an who neither exaggerates concerning it nor abandons it, and the just ruler.”**
And al-Tirmidhi narrated:
> **“Whenever a young man honours an elderly person because of his age, Allah appoints someone who will honour him in his old age.”**
Some scholars considered this hadith sound, while others regarded it as weak. Nevertheless, its meaning accords with the Divine principle that recompense corresponds to one's deeds. Whoever honours his father will, by Allah's permission, be honoured by his children; whoever mistreats his father may suffer the same from his own children.
### Some Rulings Concerning Old Age
Islam prohibits killing elderly people during warfare, just as it prohibits killing women and children, because they do not participate in combat.
However, if an elderly person actively participates in warfare or contributes through strategy and counsel, the ruling is different, because strategic counsel may sometimes be more dangerous than a sword or spear.
Among the concessions given to elderly people is exemption from migration when they are persecuted in their homeland and genuinely lack the ability to find a way out. They fall among the weak and vulnerable whom Allah has excused:
> **“Except for the helpless men, women, and children who are unable to devise a plan and cannot find a way.”**
> *(Qur’an 4:98)*
Indeed, the Qur’an urges the Muslim community to fight in order to rescue the oppressed and vulnerable:
> **“And why should you not fight in the cause of Allah and for the oppressed men, women, and children who say, ‘Our Lord, take us out of this town whose people are oppressors, and appoint for us from Yourself a protector and appoint for us from Yourself a helper.’”**
> *(Qur’an 4:75)*
### Those Whose Hair Turns Grey in Islam
The Prophet ﷺ praised those whose hair turned grey while they remained committed to Islam, meaning those who spent their youth and maturity in Islam and reached old age while remaining faithful.
He ﷺ said:
> **“Whoever has a grey hair in Islam, it will be a light for him on the Day of Resurrection.”**
Another narration says:
> **“Whoever has a grey hair while striving in the cause of Allah, it will be a light for him on the Day of Resurrection.”**
### The Permissibility of Dyeing Grey Hair
The Prophet ﷺ instructed those with grey hair that they could change its colour, particularly avoiding black.
He ﷺ said:
> **“The Jews and Christians do not dye their hair, so differ from them.”**
Another narration says:
> **“Change the grey hair, and do not imitate the Jews and Christians.”**
He also said:
> **“The best things with which you can change grey hair are henna and katam.”**
When Abu Bakr brought his elderly father, Abu Quhafa, to the Prophet ﷺ on the day of the conquest of Mecca, the Prophet ﷺ said:
> **“Had you left the old man at home, we would have gone to him, out of honour to Abu Bakr.”**
When Abu Quhafa embraced Islam, his head and beard were completely white. The Prophet ﷺ said:
> **“Change them, but avoid black.”**
### The Elderly Person’s Rights Within the Family
If elderly people have important rights over society, their rights within their own families are even stronger—particularly the rights of fathers and mothers over their children.
Islam strongly emphasized kindness toward parents and regarded it as one of the fundamental virtues shared by the divine religions.
The Qur’an places kindness to parents immediately after worshipping Allah:
> **“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and show kindness to parents.”**
> *(Qur’an 4:36)*
And:
> **“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show kindness to parents.”**
> *(Qur’an 17:23)*
And:
> **“Give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final return.”**
> *(Qur’an 31:14)*
The Qur’an places particular emphasis on parents when they reach old age:
> **“If one or both of them reach old age in your care, do not even say to them ‘uff,’ nor rebuke them, but speak to them words of honour. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say: ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them, just as they raised me when I was small.’”**
> *(Qur’an 17:23–24)*
Notice the expression **“in your care.”** At this stage they have become dependent upon their children, almost as though they are a trust placed in their keeping.
At this point, parents may become extremely sensitive. They may feel that their children no longer need them and that they have become a burden, particularly when the children have spouses who may find the presence of elderly parents difficult.
For this reason, the Qur’an says:
> **“Do not even say to them ‘uff,’ nor rebuke them, but speak to them words of honour.”**
The word “uff” expresses irritation, annoyance, and impatience. As for insulting or abusing one's parents, that is among the gravest sins.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
> **“Among the greatest of major sins is for a man to curse his parents.”**
The companions asked:
> “How can a man curse his own parents?”
He replied:
> **“He insults another man's father, so that man insults his father; and he insults another man's mother, so that man insults his mother.”**
Thus, a person may cause his own parents to be insulted indirectly by insulting the parents of others. How much worse, then, is it for someone to insult his own father or mother directly?
Islam considers having one's parents reach old age while one is still able to care for them an opportunity to earn Allah's forgiveness and enter Paradise.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
> **“May his nose be rubbed in the dust! May his nose be rubbed in the dust!”**
He was asked, “Who, O Messenger of Allah?”
He said:
> **“The one who finds one or both of his parents in old age and yet does not enter Paradise.”**
Al-Qurtubi explained why the Qur’an specifically mentions old age: it is the stage when parents most need their children's kindness because weakness and age have changed their condition. They have become dependent upon their children just as their children once depended upon them.
### Three Commands Concerning Parents
The Qur’anic passage contains two prohibitions and three commands.
The two prohibitions are:
> **“Do not say to them ‘uff,’ and do not rebuke them.”**
The three commands are:
**1. Speak to them honourably:**
> **“Speak to them words of honour.”**
This means gentle, kind, respectful speech filled with reverence, compassion, and affection—such as addressing them lovingly as “Father” and “Mother.”
**2. Lower the wing of humility out of mercy:**
> **“And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy.”**
This is not humiliation or degradation. It is humility born of mercy and love.
**3. Pray for them:**
> **“And say: ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them, just as they raised me when I was small.’”**
This prayer is an ethical expression of gratitude in return for the care and upbringing they provided during childhood.
### Kindness to Parents Even When They Are Polytheists
One of the remarkable teachings of Islam is that kindness and dutifulness toward parents remain obligatory even when the parents are polytheists—even if they actively attempt to turn their child away from Islam.
The Qur’an says:
> **“We have commanded the human being to be good to his parents. His mother carried him through hardship upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years: ‘Give thanks to Me and to your parents; to Me is the final return.’ But if they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them, but accompany them in this world with kindness.”**
> *(Qur’an 31:14–15)*
Thus, Islam forbids obeying parents in matters of disbelief, but commands that they nevertheless be treated with kindness.
Asma bint Abi Bakr reported that her mother, who was a polytheist, came to her seeking contact and kindness. Asma asked the Prophet ﷺ whether she should maintain relations with her mother.
He replied:
> **“Yes. Maintain relations with your mother.”**
### The Extended Family
The elderly person's need is not limited to food, drink, and material care. Parents and grandparents need affection, companionship, and the presence of their children and grandchildren.
Children also benefit from living in contact with their grandparents, listening to their stories, learning from their experience, and maintaining a living connection between generations.
The Qur’an itself refers to ancestors as fathers, as Joseph said:
> **“I followed the way of my fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”**
> *(Qur’an 12:38)*
Abraham and Isaac were his forefathers.
People have long said:
> **“Nothing is dearer than a child's child.”**
How, then, can we deprive grandparents of the happiness of their grandchildren—the descendants whose presence brings joy to the heart?
Abraham prayed:
> **“My Lord, make me steadfast in prayer, and [also] from my descendants.”**
> *(Qur’an 14:40)*
And the servants of the Most Merciful pray:
> **“Our Lord, grant us from our spouses and our offspring comfort to our eyes, and make us examples for the righteous.”**
> *(Qur’an 25:74)*
I therefore hope that our sons and daughters in Muslim societies will remain committed to their authentic values and to the strong bonds of the family—the extended family that includes fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, and their children.
The Qur’an says:
> **“Blood relatives are more entitled to one another in the Book of Allah.”**
> *(Qur’an 8:75)*
And:
> **“Fear Allah, in whose name you ask one another, and honour family ties.”**
> *(Qur’an 4:1)*
And:
> **“Indeed, Allah commands justice, excellence, and giving to relatives.”**
> *(Qur’an 16:90)*
And:
> **“Give the relative his due, as well as the poor and the traveller.”**
> *(Qur’an 17:26)*
### Islam’s Warning Against Mistreating Parents
Mistreating one's parents is among the worst moral vices afflicting individuals and societies, because the parents' right over their children is recognized by human nature and reinforced by divine law.
Human childhood is longer than that of any other creature, and parents endure great hardship until their child grows and becomes independent.
The mother suffers even more than the father. She carries the child with hardship, gives birth with hardship, breastfeeds and raises him, as the Qur’an says:
> **“His mother carried him through hardship upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years.”**
> *(Qur’an 31:14)*
Another verse says:
> **“His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship; and his bearing and weaning is thirty months.”**
> *(Qur’an 46:15)*
For this reason, some Muslim scholars said that the mother deserves two-thirds of one's dutifulness and the father one-third.
Others said that she deserves three-quarters and the father one-quarter.
This is supported by the famous hadith of Abu Hurayrah in which a man asked the Prophet ﷺ:
> “Who among people is most entitled to my good companionship?”
He said:
> **“Your mother.”**
The man asked, “Then who?”
He said:
> **“Your mother.”**
He asked again, “Then who?”
He said:
> **“Your mother.”**
He asked, “Then who?”
He said:
> **“Your father.”**
Ibn Kathir narrated that a man was circumambulating the Ka'bah carrying his mother and asked the Prophet ﷺ:
> “Have I fulfilled her right?”
He replied:
> **“Not even for one of her cries of childbirth.”**
It is also related that a man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab and said:
> “O Commander of the Believers, I have served my mother so faithfully that she does not relieve herself except with my back serving as her mount. I am doing for her in old age what she did for me in childhood. Have I fulfilled her right?”
Umar replied:
> **“No. She did it for you while hoping that you would live a long life; you are doing it for her while waiting for her death, perhaps tomorrow or the day after.”**
The Messenger of Islam regarded disobedience and mistreatment of parents as among the gravest sins and warned that the one who mistreats them will not enter Paradise nor smell its fragrance.
Poets have complained of children's ingratitude since ancient times. Among the verses attributed to Umayyah ibn Abi al-Salt, addressing his son:
> “I nourished you as an infant and raised you as a youth,
> giving you freely of all that I possessed.
>
> When a night of illness came upon you,
> I could not sleep, restless because of your suffering.
>
> As though I myself were afflicted by what struck you,
> my eyes overflowing with tears.
>
> I feared death for you,
> though I knew that death is an appointed certainty.
>
> But when you reached the age and the goal
> toward which I had raised my hopes for you,
>
> you made my reward harshness and rudeness,
> as though you were the generous benefactor.
>
> If you would not honour my right as your father,
> at least treat me as a neighbour would treat a neighbour.”
Indeed, mistreating one's parents is regarded as base and despicable by people, a moral vice in the eyes of ethics, and a major sin in religion. **But it becomes even more grievous and reprehensible when the parents have reached old age.**
**Source:** *Encyclopedia of the Complete Works of Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi.*
Add comment
Comments