On the meanings of dutifulness (birr):

On the meanings of dutifulness (birr):
Dutifulness is not a sermon to be delivered, nor an argument to be won; it is a character lived out—both in times of ease and in times of trial.
It is a form of ingratitude to prevail over one’s parents with words, even when one is right, for arguing with parents is a defeat of manners before it is a victory of opinion.
Part of true understanding of dutifulness is realizing that sitting with one’s mother, keeping her company, and bringing joy to her heart outweighs—before God—many voluntary acts of worship; for dutifulness is a form of worship that walks upon the earth and is not seen only in prostration.
And from complete understanding is knowing that when parents grow old, their hearts may grow weary, their needs increase, and their patience diminish. The test then becomes greater, mercy more obligatory, and the divine command decisive:
“Do not say to them even ‘uff.’”
That is, do not show irritation, do not argue back, and do not make them feel that their presence is a burden upon you.
Thus, dutifulness in old age is graceful patience, a gentle tongue, and a heart that remembers: those who cared for us when we were weak are the most deserving of our kindness and goodness when we grow strong and their strength fades.